


Of Regret and Steel

by stoneshipMapper



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-25
Updated: 2013-02-25
Packaged: 2017-12-03 14:04:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/699056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stoneshipMapper/pseuds/stoneshipMapper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He hated himself for what he was doing. He knew it was like taking advantage of her and the terrible consequences that could come from it. Yet he found himself doing it often, feeling slightly uplifted afterwards, until his shame returned and buried him in misery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Regret and Steel

He hated himself for what he was doing. He knew it was like taking advantage of her and the terrible consequences that could come from it. Yet he found himself doing it often, feeling slightly uplifted afterwards, until his shame returned and buried him in misery. And in his desolation, he found himself wondering what started all of this in the first place.

There was a time where he was alone with her in the lab. He stood at his computer, wiggling the T key on the keyboard and painfully reminiscing on his inadequacies as a leader. He mulled his eyes to her and watched as she idled by her own computer. She did little than just stand there, hardly moving and remaining like a statue. He leaned back to better look at her, eventually asking what she was doing. She replied with a vague answer, cold and robotic in tone. He surmised that she did not want to talk, but he murmured to himself how it was just another problem to deal with. She had heard the remark, though, and asked him to express what his troubles were. He assumed she would do little to actually help him, but he talked and she patiently, if not unemotionally, listened.

And this event would repeat itself many times. He eventually found himself pulling her away from the computer room to talk about his tribulations. She hardly responded with anything worthwhile, besides the occasional affirmation, but she listened and that was what he liked. Before long, he sat closer to her when he talked, then would occasional pat her metal skin in thanks. It got to the point of him beginning to question whether this was some awkward one-sided Moirallegiance, which he never really minded. It continued for a while, until his feelings changed. The attention she gave him found a place inside him and he frustratingly realized: he was growing flushed for her.

It was hardly an easy reality to face. He knew that Sollux, a person whose friendship he appreciated, had a deep and long history with her. He also knew that Sollux was rather displeased by her current state and never vied for any sort of romance she could not return. Karkat himself was not free of relationship troubles. His history with Terezi hardly ever led to any positive thought, but he still found himself drawn to her. The thought of him ruining everything with his friends churned his insides, but he continued to see Aradia. When he mentioned his own feelings to her, she did no obvious reaction, only eyeing him with her glossy lenses. He only grew frustrated and left.

So now, sitting alone in the lab as he tried to push out all of his inner-turmoil, she arrived. She looked at him and made no gesture, but started walking to her computer. He leapt from his seat and caught her hand, making her come to a halt and turn herself to him. He hastily apologized for what he said and told her that he was merely confused about all of the tribulations he has been through. She returned with a bland understanding and stood there, watching him. He shrunk back from her gaze at first, but soon moved forward. He placed his hands on her cold cheeks and leaned towards her. She made no obvious movement, no violent reaction, and only stared ahead. He shakily parted his lips, and breathily said “Kiss me.”

 

  
  


He waited for a moment if she would take any initiative, show any sort of emotion about him or their situation. She only stood there, looking through him. He could not contain himself anymore and closed the gap between their lips. It was bitter and hard, her lips were unmoving against his, but he enjoyed it in a way. He had never felt so close to someone, even though he knew that she would never reciprocate it. But for the time being, she impartially let him show his affection. And that alone made him love her.

**Author's Note:**

> Possibly the pioneer for Karkat/Aradiabot. I'm unsure, I haven't found any other works of it. I'm all, but positive that I am the first to ship these two specifically. I'm quite aware that Karkat and Aradia have been shipped before, but it is Karkat and Aradiabot I specifically mean.
> 
> The illustration is by me.


End file.
